Roommate Needed:

I was living in a two-bedroom street-level apartment in an old house in Vancouver with a friend I had gone to college with. We had a good time together and got along really well. Our "building manager" who called himself "the Fridge" and he was a grouchy old dude. My roommate and I used to set our speakers at different ends of the apartment up along the wall which separated our apartment from "the fridge's" and put on different stereo sound fx CDs and leave the place. On one day The Fridge would be subjected to hours of plates breaking. The next day there were planes having dog fights. Construction. Cops shooting at robbers. Aliens beeping and booping. Our favourite was the bowling. The ball sounded like it would roll from one end and hit the pins at the other end. But our fun soon came to an end when his girlfriend moved to Vancouver, they decided to get their own place. They helped me look for an ideal roommate that would replace them and we found a guy named Peter. He seemed like a likable guy, and when we first met him, he was wearing an Iggy & The Stooges t-shirt so I thought, that he'd have good taste in music at least. Turns out that Peter turned out to be an alien from another planet. My friends actually called him the alien because he had no idea what or who anything was. He was a really awesome guy, nice and considerate and everything but he just was a bit clueless to pretty much anything.

For example: one day I was flipping through the channels and "Throw Mama From The Train" was on. I'm not a big fan of the movie and I can't stand Billy Crystal but there are some funny moments, so I was just watching it for a bit. Peter came along and asked what was on and I told him. He shrugged his shoulders and said his usual comment "Never heard of it." "Really? Never heard of it?" "Nope." "Billy Crystal..." "Who?" "What? Billy Crystal...never heard of Billy Crystal?" "Nope."

I'm not asking him to be a fan of Billy or anything as I can't stand him myself, but come on! You've got to at least heard of the man! Peter was like this for everything.

"Stir fry? Nope. Never heard of it."
"Bigfoot? Nope. Who's that?"

I could understand this if he was an exchange student but not only was he from Canada, he was a professional writer.

We both differed widely on many subjects and the two of us had very little in common. Eventually his girlfriend moved in and the two of them eventually decided to get their own place. Fine with me.

The two of them left and I was off looking for another roommate.