IT BEGINS!!!

So Kelly moves in. At first, his possessions were but a couple of suitcases. The rest of his stuff was to arrive from Montreal via a moving truck. For the first few days, until his stuff arrived, Kelly would have to sleep on the couch in the living room. He really was a nice guy and everything but I immediately knew that he wasn't really the kind of guy whose company I would never fully appreciate and enjoy. The first thing he wanted to talk about was his "kick-ass" television set. He told me that it was the most "state-of-the-art" tv known to mankind and that we really had to make a choice on where it was going to go. He said that it was huge and that if it were to go in the living room, we're going to need to figure out where it goes, move some furniture etc. Awesome! A huge kick-ass television set! This is awesome!

A few days, the moving truck arrived. A futon mattress, some boxes, guitars, an amp, and a HUGE crate. The swampers had a hell of a time lifting this crate out of the truck and when they finally got it out, they opened it and, under Kelly's guidance, they eventually managed to get this monstrosity into the house. It was huge! I tried to figure out where it was going to go, and I started to make room over where my current TV set was. Kelly soon ushered the moving men and TV into his room. Ahh shit. Oh well. It's his TV, and he wants it in his room, no big deal. After he's settled in, he's asking me about cable and where the main line is and wants to tap into it. I tells the guy that we only get basic cable and he starts going on about all the different channels that exist beyond basic cable. He went into detail about every single channel above 13. He says that his TV has picture-in-picture pop-up windows that display what's playing on the different channels so that he doesn't miss any "gold." After about an hour of yammering about channels and how awesome the channels that he chooses are, he disappears and leaves me to my crappy basic cable.

A little while later I hear him leave the apartment and go upstairs (there were two units on the top floor) and knock on the neighbour's door. A moment later I can hear stuff happening upstairs. A window's being opened and then there's a bunch of scraping sounds and banging. My curiosity is piqued and I decide to go upstairs and pay my neighbours a visit. The door is open and my neighbour Irene is standing there watching as Kelly leans half out the window screwing around with some wires. Irene looks at me with a look that says "Is this your roommate?" I give her a "I kinda wish not!" kind of look. A few minutes pass and Kelly pulls himself into the apartment. "There! Now let's go see if we got ourselves some full cable!" Kelly thanks Irene and leaves to go downstairs. I ask Irene if she's got full cable and if Kelly was tapping into it with her permission. She said no but she went over to her TV and turned it on and PRESTO! Irene and Mark now have full cable! I run downstairs and turn on my TV and WHAMO! I've got full cable! Kelly was now in his room screwing around with something and I yell to him that that's awesome! Suddenly the sound of a power drill is whirring in Kelly's room. Grrrrrrnnnngggggggggg, Grrrrrrrrr, Whhmmmmmmmmmmm, Grrrrrrrrruunnngghgh, and then a hole starts to emerge from the wall by the couch. Kelly has drilled a hole about 2 inches in diameter with a boring bit from his room into the living room.

A few moments later Kelly's in the living room drilling a hole through the wall that goes completely outside. He feeds a bunch of wires through it and then goes back upstairs to Irene's. Kelly returns, turns on his TV and BLAMMO! Free cable for all! Holes in the wall, but free cable none-the-less. This Kelly guy's paying off in spades!!!